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‘Saturday Night Live’ mocks Lori Loughlin, Julian Assange, Michael Avenatti and MSNBC Mueller report coverage

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'Saturday Night Live' mocks Lori Loughlin, Julian Assange, Michael Avenatti and MSNBC Mueller report coverage

Saturday Night Live” had a doozy of a cold open this week, skewering the arrest of Julian Assange, Michael Avenatti, Lori Loughlin and her alleged role in the college admissions scandal and even MSNBC‘s coverage of the Mueller report and Russia investigation.

Parodying an episode of MSNBC’s “Lockup,” the segment opened with the introduction, “Now that the Mueller report turned out to be a big fat zero, we’re back to prison shows.”

After three violent inmates introduced themselves to one another and recounted their crimes, Kate McKinnon strolled over as 54-year-old Loughlin, quipping, “Oh yeah? You think that’s insane? I paid $500,000 to get my daughter into USC.”

PAMELA ANDERSON BLASTS BRITAIN, US FOR JULIAN ASSANGE ARREST

Sporting Loughlin’s signature side part and glasses, she added, “You heard me. I paid $500,000 to a women’s crew coach to say my daughter was good at rowing. I’m loco … that’s not including the $300,000 I blew on tuition.”

She also bragged, “I own the guards in here. I helped their kids get into a really competitive pre-K.”

MICHAEL AVENATTI ACCUSED OF TRYING TO EXTORT NIKE FOR $25 MILLION

When Keenan Thompson’s character told her she wouldn’t last a year in prison, she replied, “You think prison is hard? I’ve done 68 Hallmark movies. I’ve seen hell, man. And in half those Hallmark movies I married Santa’s son, so I’ve lost all sense of reality.”

LORI LOUGHLIN COULD FACE UP TO 40 YEARS IN PRISON

‘SNL’ COLD OPEN FEATURES JOE BIDEN (JASON SUDEIKIS) GETTING SENSITIVITY TRAINING

Then Pete Davidson‘s Avenatti entered, telling his fellow inmates he’s committed “crimes you can’t even conceive of, like blackmailing a sneaker company and stealing taxes from a coffee shop to fund a race car team. And I’m so shady that a porn star once said she had to distance herself from me.”

Michael Keaton guested as WikiLeaks founder Assange, who was arrested by U.K. police Friday after Ecuador gave up his asylum, asserting he was the craziest one in the cell.

‘SNL’ SKETCH MOCKS JUSSIE SMOLLETT AFTER CHARGES WERE DROPPED

“That’s right it’s me. I’m the architect of anarchy; I’m the king of chaos; I’m the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian Embassy,” he said.

“That’s right it’s me. I’m the architect of anarchy; I’m the king of chaos; I’m the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian Embassy,” he said, adding that he’s a “James Bond supervillain” and “one step away from destroying the g– damn moon.”

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In the conclusion of the segment, Melissa Villasenor as Tekashi 6ix9ine bragged that she’s in the slammer for “robbery and gun stuff.”

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KISS guitarist Paul Stanley explains how a childhood deformity led him to become a rock legend

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KISS guitarist Paul Stanley explains how a childhood deformity led him to become a rock legend

KISS guitarist Paul Stanley said a physical deformity is responsible for pushing him to become one of the most flamboyant and stylized rockers in history.

Stanley may be better known to fans for the “Starchild” persona that he’s used since he started with the iconic band in the late 1970s. Stanley would paint one black star over his right eye, which he recently revealed was part of the rock and roll glamor he turned to after being a social outcast in his youth.

Stanley sat down for an interview with Dan Rather on AXS TV where he got candid about living with a deformity called microtia and how it pushed him into the spotlight.

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“I pursued fame as a way to compensate for a lot of insecurities. I was born deaf on my right side and I had a birth defect. I had what’s called a microtia, which is basically not having an ear. Having a crumpled mass of cartilage,” he shared. “And, I wasn’t very socially adept and when you have something physical that sets you apart from people it makes you really a target of unrelenting scrutiny and sometimes ridicule. And, quite honestly, the idea of becoming famous was a way to push it in people’s faces and go, ‘you see, you should have been nicer to me.’”

While he’s grateful for the many years he spent with KISS and for the life it’s given him, he says that he learned quickly that fame wouldn’t solve his problems. However, he thanks the rocket-ride for teaching him that lesson early, when there was still time to do something about it.

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“I was fortunate enough to have success come to me and realize that didn’t change anything. So I was really blessed because, at that point in your life, it’s either a disappointment because it’s not a remedy and you either put a needle in your arm, a gun in your mouth or you live life as a victim, and I’m not cut out of that,” he said. “So I decided that I would spend my life and my time on self-exploration and trying to make myself a better person and seeing where that was going to take me.”

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Now, Stanley and the rest of the band are preparing to leave their makeup and armored outfits behind at the conclusion of their “KISS End of the Road World Tour,” which kicked off earlier this year.

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Pink says she’ll no longer share photos of her kids after people comment ‘just some of the nastiest things’

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Pink says she'll no longer share photos of her kids after people comment 'just some of the nastiest things'

Pink says she’ll no longer share photos of her children on social media after receiving a slew of negative comments about her parenting abilities.

The 39-year-old mother of two appeared on Monday’s episode on “The Ellen Show” where she spoke with host Ellen DeGeneres about the decision to cut back on posting about her kids. The final straw came when she shared an image of her and her children admiring a pelican that flew into their room and allegedly stayed with them for about two hours.

Pink caught backlash online for the fact that her 2-year-old son, Jameson, was bottomless with no diaper in the beach photo despite the fact she edited out his private parts.

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“We live on a farm. My kids are naked. It’s what happens. I’m naked sometimes,” Pink explained (via The Hollywood Reporter).

She continued: “People went as far as saying, ‘Someone should call Child Services,’ because he didn’t have a diaper on, and ‘How dare I?’ — just some of the nastiest things,” an emotional Pink said. “I cried so hard after that because I like to share my family. … I’m prouder of my kids than anything I’ve ever done and I just won’t share them anymore. I won’t do it.”

The star acknowledged that she has a responsibility to her kids, Jameson and 7-year-old sister Willow, given that she’s in the public eye. However, she takes issue with the “anonymous” keyboard warriors’ approach.

“There’s a kind way to be online. I’m open to kindness online,” she said.

The image in question remains on Pink’s Instagram. However, she has since changed the caption to be a scathing lecture to the trolls that commented on her child’s bottomless appearance.

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“There’s something seriously wrong with a lot of you out there. Going off about my baby’s penis? About circumcision??? Are you for real? As any normal mother at the beach, I didn’t even notice he took off his swim diaper,” she wrote. “I deleted it because you’re all f—ing disgusting. And now I’m turning off my comments and shaking my head at the state of social media and keyboard warriors.”

Pink concluded: “And the negativity that you bring to other people’s lives. There is something seriously wrong with a lot of you out there. Smfh. Here’s a picture of the pelican we obviously caught and abused for hours before dangling baby penis in its face.”

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In her interview with Degeneres, Pink noted that she’s happy to engage with her online haters if she has the time. She previously fired back at critics of her opinions on the Covington Catholic school students after they were criticized for their behavior at a march for Native American people.

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Prince Harry and Prince William were distant at royal Easter service amid feud rumors: reports

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Prince Harry and Prince William were distant at royal Easter service amid feud rumors: reports

Even Easter couldn’t warm up the cooling of Prince William and Prince Harry‘s once-close bond.

Sources say the feuding brothers were noticeably distant at royal church services on Sunday.

Witnesses told People that William, 36, and Harry, 34, didn’t speak to one another outside of St. George’s Chapel in Windsor, neither before nor after church.

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One spy, however, caught the brothers exchanging pleasantries briefly in a video posted to Instagram.

The princes’ cousin and her husband, Zara and Mike Tindall, reportedly sat between William and Harry at church. William’s wife Kate Middleton was also present.

PRINCE HARRY MAY BE MORE DIFFICULT THAN MEGHAN MARKLE, EXPERT CLAIMS

Heavily pregnant Meghan Markle is on maternity leave and wasn’t in attendance.

KENSINGTON PALACE ISSUES RARE STATEMENT DENYING MEGHAN MARKLE, KATE MIDDLETON FEUD

A source told Entertainment Tonight that Harry and William are at “different stages in their life” and are “no longer the boys” the world knew when they were growing up. The insider also noted that the gentlemen sat apart from one another at the premiere of “Our Planet” earlier this month.

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The feud was reportedly sparked when Prince William expressed concerns over how fast Prince Harry and Meghan, now Duchess of Sussex, moved in their relationship.

The awkward Easter outing comes on the heels of reports that Harry and Meghan may work abroad in Africa at the behest of William, who allegedly wants to keep the spotlight on the Cambridges.

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Kensington Palace didn’t deny the rumors of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex potentially working overseas, but said in a statement, “Any future plans for the Duke and Duchess are speculative at this stage. No decisions have been taken about future roles. The Duke will continue to fulfill his role as Commonwealth Youth Ambassador.”

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